Italian Mama and author Stacey Wilk is one tough cookie when it comes to friendship. “Friendships are disposable,” she writes, “like paper plates.”
She’s not alone.
Social media posts, quotes, and related articles often remind me that one’s circle of friends typically shrinks with age. People come in and out of our lives depending upon the circumstance and purpose.
As one who didn’t learn how to be a good friend until well into adulthood, I think mindless disposal is a shame. You never know what weight the plate carried in the past. I’d like to hope that with a wipe down, delicate wash, or elbow grease most friendships are recyclable.
So what’s in your cupboard? Paper? Stoneware? Or perhaps, plastic? You know the plates; shiny, sturdy glorified paper disguised as stoneware.
I’m a firm believer that friendships are disposable. I know that sound harsh, but look at it like this; some friendships are like paper plates and some are like your good stoneware. A paper plate serves a purpose and when that purpose is over or the plate is a bleeding mess you toss it. But your stoneware comes out every day, sometimes three times a day and is probably in your favorite color. Stoneware helps you, supports you, is reliable, loyal, accepts you for the cook you are, and heats up like a hot flash for you. You might buy thousands of paper plates over your lifetime, but you’ll only have a setting for twelve of that stoneware.
You don’t know when in your life you’re going to find that perfect set of stoneware. You might have to buy it in pieces. Some during high school, some during college, maybe even a…
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Red, thank you for the reblog. I’m eternally grateful. None of us are perfect friends. I am sure I have been nothing more than a napkin to some along the way. But what I think is beautiful, is when you need this person most they come into your life. A friendship might not be recyclable, and some will be, but if we go through this world with kindness in our hearts, then the Universe will bring us the people who add value to our lives. It’s okay to take time to learn to be a good friend. And I am very grateful for your friendship in my life. It arrived when I needed it most. If you hadn’t been the person you were before I wouldn’t get to benefit from you being in my life now.
Jesus said the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed a small seed becomes the largest bush so is a friendship it’s all what we put into it . Love can conquer all and overcome all no one is disposable everyone can be redeemed
Dennis, I’ve been thinking a lot about your comment. I hope you’ll let me clarify. I never said people were disposable. Friendships are. No one is all good or all bad. Just because I might not get along with someone doesn’t mean there aren’t others who love and adore that person. It also doesn’t mean because we don’t get along now we can’t get along in the future. If the Universe puts us on a path together it’s for a reason and when that reason ends the paths veer off in other directions. I am a believer that not all friendships are meant to last. Like paper plates.
Good one Jen! Love it.
Thanks! Me too. Was thinking of you this weekend. Attended NJ SCBWI Conference :-).
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I just read Tara Lazar’s wrap up…looks like it was a good one. I see good news in your future! PB or MG – I’m not quite sure yet…
Donna, I don’t know how you know that, but it’s the best news I heard all weekend :-). Maybe I should split the difference and write a CB. It’s always a good conference. Be well!
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